Epcot Food & Wine Festival: Bottom 5 'I haz a sad' moments

No. 5

The Greece stall has no griddled halloumi!

The winning item on this menu - M.I.A.

Cheese Bankruptcy - Hoping Germany will bail them out with Munster. (Ha ha ha ha - I'm soooo topical!)

No. 4

French champagne lunch teaches me I will never truly understand champagne

Nicolas Feuillatte - an institution since 1976 - the 3rd largest volume sales of french champagne. Taking champagne to Infinity and Beyond!

They poured 4 glasses during lunch and I still didn't understand the appeal. I'll leave this champagne to the expert wine critics.

No. 3

Ireland Stall abuses its cheese!

What a winner of a menu - such promise in every line!

The efficient staff must have set out the cheese plates hours in advance. The bread was stale and the 3 cheeses had dehydrated. Hard lumpy chunks which sunk straight to the bottom when I threw them in Showcase Lagoon.

Looks so good, tastes so wrong

No. 2

Discovery of Chocolate discovers stodgy mousse

I sat there patiently watching the famous chef smash away and finally - we are served: Chocolate Mousse!

So it's your once a year food event - you are designing a brand new chocolate event to WOW the crowds - you're wondering "how can we rediscover chocolate? How can we bring a new chocolatey perspective for the anticipating, drooling hoards? I AM THE FAMOUS (in Orlando) CHEF! WHAT MASTERPIECE WILL I GIVE MY ADORING FANS?"

And somehow they decided on the single most unimaginative chocolate dessert possible - and wrecked it.

Big screen overhead shot - he's following the recipe.

$70 for thick, cloying, heavy, airless stodge. Also had that dry skin surface as if it was laid out hours in advance - probably by the Irish Cheese people.  Oh Look! Served with  - Chocolate Truffle!! YAY!!

No. 1

Thirsty? Want something non-alcoholic?

Too bad - buy water!

Driving?  Did that lunch in the Tequila Cave ? .... or perhaps you've been drinking for 10 days in a row.

If you didn't want wine, it was Dasani Water.  Yes ... I know ... WINE festival....and YES - easier to store bottles than make mocktails. I just wonder if there was some foreign sensation yet to tickle my tastebuds. Instead I was standing at the bubbler.

Oh sigh..... fortuntely it was hard to come up with this list.